It's been about four and a half months of no Tracy. I went through some big changes, moved into a new apartment, started walking the 30 minutes home from work or my best friend's apartment as often as possible, somehow managed to lose about 15 lbs. Got a three-month gym membership, went once and realized that if I have to commute to do my workout, it's not going to get done. ("Staying home is the new going out in fitness," right?)
Last night, I was talking to my roommate about Tracy and she wanted to try it, so this afternoon, we threw our yoga mats down and did the MS for Level 1...
All of my love/hate came roaring back. I sweat so much that the hair at the nape of my neck was wet, my face was dripping, and I LOVED IT. I loved doing these moves that I had missed. I loved realizing that my body is stronger than I think. I loved waking up muscles that I had forgotten about, remembering the changes that I saw in my body when I started. I loved seeing my roommate struggling - okay, I know that sounds like an awful thing to say, but what I mean is that it reminded me of my own struggle when I first started, and it showed me that I HAVE come a way from where I was, and that I'll continue to move forward.
But I hated (in a love way) the torture of the workout, the knowledge that each level is going to get progressively harder - even though I look forward to it, suddenly.
I'd really like to start running, but I'll have to start small since I don't have the endurance to do much and I know my feet and legs always hurt a lot because my ankles overpronate and I don't have good shoes.
So I think my goal will be to do Tracy's MS 2-3x a week working up to 5-6x a week, and to start jogging (maybe with the Couch to 5K app) for 20-30 minutes 2-3x a week. I want to start small and build from there because I want to set myself up for success.
And now, to go catch up on all of your lovely blogs!
(I'll try to get measurements done soon, so I can have a point of reference for this new journey!)
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
Level 4, day 1.
This week has been crazy for me at work, I've been working a lot of 9-hour shifts when I'm used to working maybe 4 hours, so it's made it pretty difficult to find time to work out - I don't know how everyone else does it!
I started level 4 today - I did arms without weights, since it was my first day, and I found that abs on the floor were relatively easy compared to last level's. The leg section was fantastic, I actually managed around 15 reps for almost every exercise, except the second one where she has you in a plank moving from one side of the mat to the other - I HATE planks, my upper body strength sucks, so I only managed maybe 5 of those, hahaha. I'd like to get up to at least half of the reps Tracy does this level - so when she does 40, I want to get up to 20, and when she does 30, I'll do 15. Of course, I'll continue to work my way up to the full 40, but my short-term goal for the next couple of workouts is to manage at least half.
I also rediscovered my Run 5k app, and I'm going to start doing that for cardio, because I remember how much I loved jogging when I was doing it last summer. The app says to do it 3 times a week, and I am also going to modify my MS goal to a MINIMUM of 3-4 times a week; 5-6 times a week will still be the ideal, but I want to be doing at least 3 MS workouts a week. I also won't necessarily do my MS and cardio together every time, I might do MS one day and a run the next, because I feel like 30-minute workouts are way more manageable for me, especially when I'm working longer shifts - I'll push myself to get up early and do 30 minutes of either. I think that by giving myself more realistic goals, it'll help me work up to where I want to be.
I started level 4 today - I did arms without weights, since it was my first day, and I found that abs on the floor were relatively easy compared to last level's. The leg section was fantastic, I actually managed around 15 reps for almost every exercise, except the second one where she has you in a plank moving from one side of the mat to the other - I HATE planks, my upper body strength sucks, so I only managed maybe 5 of those, hahaha. I'd like to get up to at least half of the reps Tracy does this level - so when she does 40, I want to get up to 20, and when she does 30, I'll do 15. Of course, I'll continue to work my way up to the full 40, but my short-term goal for the next couple of workouts is to manage at least half.
I also rediscovered my Run 5k app, and I'm going to start doing that for cardio, because I remember how much I loved jogging when I was doing it last summer. The app says to do it 3 times a week, and I am also going to modify my MS goal to a MINIMUM of 3-4 times a week; 5-6 times a week will still be the ideal, but I want to be doing at least 3 MS workouts a week. I also won't necessarily do my MS and cardio together every time, I might do MS one day and a run the next, because I feel like 30-minute workouts are way more manageable for me, especially when I'm working longer shifts - I'll push myself to get up early and do 30 minutes of either. I think that by giving myself more realistic goals, it'll help me work up to where I want to be.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Level 3, days 9 & 10 and measurements.
So I finished level 3 in 28 days - I think that's the longest it's ever taken me, but I do have to factor in a week or two's worth of mental breakdown. Blech. As much as I liked level 3, I feel like it was one of the hardest ones to get through after the first half, because I got hit with a total lack of motivation and so much overwhelming anxiety in my personal life, I don't think I did a single day of cardio, and the past two weeks I ate pretty much nothing but crap.
However, level 3 somehow also managed to still sculpt my body in little ways, like seeing my little arm muscles, and feeling my butt lift and tighten, and starting to see, when I sit or stand a certain way, a line of muscle along my outer thigh (!!!).
I'm a little anxious about level 4, since I've heard it's a rough one - I haven't previewed it yet, but I also haven't ruled out the possibility of redoing level 3 for another 5 or 10 days, since it did take me so long. We'll see how I feel when I watch level 4, I guess.
I also really want to commit to doing 30 minutes of cardio at least 5-6 times a week, and I know I need to clean up my act where food is concerned - the past two weeks have been nothing but a long binge, and it just feels gross. I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be when I started level 1; I haven't made any significant progress, and I want to change that.
It turns out my mental state is the hardest thing to change, but I feel confident that once I get myself on the right track there, all the physical stuff will follow.
However, level 3 somehow also managed to still sculpt my body in little ways, like seeing my little arm muscles, and feeling my butt lift and tighten, and starting to see, when I sit or stand a certain way, a line of muscle along my outer thigh (!!!).
Measurements, day 30:
weight: 199.4 lbs (-1 lbs)
bust (cup): 40" (-1")
bust (band): 33" (no change)
arm (L): 12" (no change)
arm (R): 12.5" (no change)
waist (smallest part): 31" (no change)
stomach (belly button): 38" (-2")
hips: 43" (-1")
thigh (L): 23" (no change)
thigh (R): 23" (no change)
bikini (L): 27.5" (-.5")
bikini (R): 28.5" (-.5")
calf (L): 15" (-.5")
calf (R): 15" (-.5")
I'm a little anxious about level 4, since I've heard it's a rough one - I haven't previewed it yet, but I also haven't ruled out the possibility of redoing level 3 for another 5 or 10 days, since it did take me so long. We'll see how I feel when I watch level 4, I guess.
I also really want to commit to doing 30 minutes of cardio at least 5-6 times a week, and I know I need to clean up my act where food is concerned - the past two weeks have been nothing but a long binge, and it just feels gross. I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be when I started level 1; I haven't made any significant progress, and I want to change that.
It turns out my mental state is the hardest thing to change, but I feel confident that once I get myself on the right track there, all the physical stuff will follow.
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Level 3, day 8.
I don't know how it happened, but it seems that another six days flew by between my last workout and today. I feel like I've hit a roadblock, like I just don't want to do it anymore. Which isn't entirely accurate, because I do still love my Tracy. I guess it's just one of those slumps, maybe after getting past thirty days of workouts, where I'm feeling like, ugh, why do I even do this. It's a mental problem and I plan on fighting through it, because I know why I do it - I feel it in the way my muscles have woken up, in the burn after a particularly tough workout, in the feeling of accomplishment when I can say I did my Tracy today.
So I just wanted to give some signs of life and let everyone know I'm still out here. I have to leave for work in a few minutes, but I plan on catching up on everyone's blogs this week - hopefully that'll help kickstart my missing motivation!
So I just wanted to give some signs of life and let everyone know I'm still out here. I have to leave for work in a few minutes, but I plan on catching up on everyone's blogs this week - hopefully that'll help kickstart my missing motivation!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Level 3, day 7.
I don't know how it happened, but I ended up taking 6 days off from Tracy - SIX days! There was a lot of stuff happening in my personal life, a lot of stress and anxiety, and after a total meltdown yesterday, today I was finally able to pick myself back up and start again.
I know that Tracy says we should be working out 5-6 days a week, but I wonder if maybe I should scale back a little and try to aim for a minimum of 3-4 days a week. Of course, 5-6 would be better, but a part of me feels like maybe that psychs me out, maybe it would be more manageable for me to start with 3-4 days a week and work my way up. I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about how I want to choose to work out because I WANT to, not because I have to. And I do love Tracy's MS, but I don't always want to do it all the time. I guess I just have to find a balance between pushing myself to do it when it will do me some good, without losing motivation because I feel like I'm being forced to do something I don't wanna.
Today's MS was definitely tough - I dropped back down to 10-15 reps of each move, as usual when I haven't worked out for a few days in a row. And I didn't get any cardio in, because it SNOWED (yuck!). But I do feel a little better just being back on the right track.
I know that Tracy says we should be working out 5-6 days a week, but I wonder if maybe I should scale back a little and try to aim for a minimum of 3-4 days a week. Of course, 5-6 would be better, but a part of me feels like maybe that psychs me out, maybe it would be more manageable for me to start with 3-4 days a week and work my way up. I don't know. I've been thinking a lot about how I want to choose to work out because I WANT to, not because I have to. And I do love Tracy's MS, but I don't always want to do it all the time. I guess I just have to find a balance between pushing myself to do it when it will do me some good, without losing motivation because I feel like I'm being forced to do something I don't wanna.
Today's MS was definitely tough - I dropped back down to 10-15 reps of each move, as usual when I haven't worked out for a few days in a row. And I didn't get any cardio in, because it SNOWED (yuck!). But I do feel a little better just being back on the right track.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Level 3, day 6.
We're continuing on with our streak of gorgeous weather, so today was another day for a long walk - I ended up taking the walk before I did my MS, so I was already good and sweaty when I got home. My love for level 3 seems to have diminished, perhaps even disappeared entirely, because today was hella hard to get through, but I did it. I'm not sure I'll be able to get my workout done tomorrow, since I'm working a longer shift, but I'll at least try for a walk, probably in the evening when it's a little cooler because my poor dog was panting like crazy in the hot sun today. Fortunately, I have an itty bitty 4-hour shift on Friday, and the day off on Saturday, so they should be good workout days.
I made the mistake of weighing myself today, which was a huge reminder that the scale is the worst measure of progress for me. I've been noticing the changes in my body - yesterday I noticed a dent in my thigh when I move a certain way, like the line of a muscle, and today I even noticed that I'm starting to get a dent on the side of my butt. I've been feeling a lot better about myself; I even cut myself a pair of jean shorts because I wore holes in the inner thighs of my jeans, hahaha, and I wear them out to walk with black leggings underneath, but weighing myself throws me back into a place of feeling so bad about myself. I kind of wish I hadn't bought a scale to begin with, because even though I keep my scale in the bottom drawer of my dresser, it's far too easy to just whip it out every once in a while.
I made the mistake of weighing myself today, which was a huge reminder that the scale is the worst measure of progress for me. I've been noticing the changes in my body - yesterday I noticed a dent in my thigh when I move a certain way, like the line of a muscle, and today I even noticed that I'm starting to get a dent on the side of my butt. I've been feeling a lot better about myself; I even cut myself a pair of jean shorts because I wore holes in the inner thighs of my jeans, hahaha, and I wear them out to walk with black leggings underneath, but weighing myself throws me back into a place of feeling so bad about myself. I kind of wish I hadn't bought a scale to begin with, because even though I keep my scale in the bottom drawer of my dresser, it's far too easy to just whip it out every once in a while.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Level 3, days 4 & 5.
Just checking in: I did day 4 on Thursday, and then had a rest day on Friday, which was great because I was working a 10-hour shift for a product launch at my store - but my rest day turned into two rest days, and then three rest days, because my weekend was so busy and on top of that, I actually got sent home early on Saturday because I was having such terrible cramps. Okay, so it was only 15 minutes early, but still! I ended up going to the pharmacy to buy more Aleve, which was what the last pharmacist had recommended, but since it wasn't helping much, I asked the pharmacist at this store if she had anything stronger and she sold me another painkiller (with codeine!) and told me to combine them at the first sign of pain.
The pharmacist told me that often, we try to wait out the pain, but that I should actually nip it in the bud when it first starts. It kind of made me think of how I handle emotional pain - how, often, I'll torture myself with it - and I'm kind of starting to consider if there are better ways of dealing with my feelings, ways that are kinder and gentler for me. One of the books that's been floating around my environment for months now is Byron Katie's "Loving What Is," and I'm thinking that maybe when I get paid later this week, I'll pick it up and see how it can help me. Have any of you read it?
This weekend was gorrrgeous, weather-wise - it was like we skipped spring and went straight to summer. I started taking my dog out for 40-minute walks along the bike path, and I let her off the leash when there aren't too many people around so she can run and tire herself out. That's what we did this morning, and when I got home, I got back to my Tracy, even though I didn't really want to. I had a lot of trouble with standing abs today, because my stomach kind of hurt and I felt uncomfortable, but the rest of the MS went pretty well. I can't believe I'm already at the halfway mark, though! And that in five more days, I'll be finished the first DVD.
One thing I've noticed is that this past week, it feels like my thighs have gotten a lot more muscular, which I'm loving. Sometimes, if I'm walking up the stairs at work or something, I'll put my hand on my thigh or give it a squeeze to feel how hard it is, hahaha. I may not be losing much weight, if any, since I haven't been focused on food or cardio, but I can definitely still see small changes in my body and I'm excited to follow that progress.
The pharmacist told me that often, we try to wait out the pain, but that I should actually nip it in the bud when it first starts. It kind of made me think of how I handle emotional pain - how, often, I'll torture myself with it - and I'm kind of starting to consider if there are better ways of dealing with my feelings, ways that are kinder and gentler for me. One of the books that's been floating around my environment for months now is Byron Katie's "Loving What Is," and I'm thinking that maybe when I get paid later this week, I'll pick it up and see how it can help me. Have any of you read it?
This weekend was gorrrgeous, weather-wise - it was like we skipped spring and went straight to summer. I started taking my dog out for 40-minute walks along the bike path, and I let her off the leash when there aren't too many people around so she can run and tire herself out. That's what we did this morning, and when I got home, I got back to my Tracy, even though I didn't really want to. I had a lot of trouble with standing abs today, because my stomach kind of hurt and I felt uncomfortable, but the rest of the MS went pretty well. I can't believe I'm already at the halfway mark, though! And that in five more days, I'll be finished the first DVD.
One thing I've noticed is that this past week, it feels like my thighs have gotten a lot more muscular, which I'm loving. Sometimes, if I'm walking up the stairs at work or something, I'll put my hand on my thigh or give it a squeeze to feel how hard it is, hahaha. I may not be losing much weight, if any, since I haven't been focused on food or cardio, but I can definitely still see small changes in my body and I'm excited to follow that progress.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Level 3, day 3 and body inspiration.
Nothing exciting to report today, except that my legs were shaking so hard for the last few moves, I actually couldn't do more than maybe 5 reps towards the end. I've also been waking up not so much sore, but really stiff. I do work out with my space heater on, but I wonder if it's enough - I also think I need to stretch more, but I'm never really sure how. I think I'll take a look at the stretches Tracy suggests in the 30-Day Method book, I seem to recall a couple in there. I'm also planning on visiting that gym I signed up for soon - maybe hot yoga will help with my flexibility and stiffness, too.
As for my goals for this level, the cardio goal is definitely failing. It rained yesterday and today it SNOWED (grrrrrr!), which means I totally lose motivation to do anything at all. I'm thinking I might also need to invest in a new pair of shoes, so I looked up some good shoes for over-pronators and got all excited - except for the fact that they're so expensive and definitely not in my budget for now. Sigh. I guess I'll stick with my old running shoes for now (they're not THAT old, I just feel like I could be getting better support, especially if I want to do more high impact cardio), but I'll try to start saving up for new shoes along with everything else.
The past couple of days, I've been going through my "fitspiration" pictures a whole lot. I have 200+ pictures of body inspiration in a folder on my computer - some of them are celebrities, some of them are models or athletes, some of them are random people - but the one that I find myself gravitating to the most is Kim Kardashian. I have an hourglass figure, though I lack her amazing butt, and that's not something I want to lose. I like my boobs and my hips and, especially, my small waist, even if my proportions make it really hard to dress; I want to keep those proportions, but I'd like to tighten and tone and firm everything up. I don't think I'll ever have the long, lean legs I crave - I think mine are more muscular, Beyonce legs - but I'd love to slim them down. I want toned, slender arms and a flat stomach (though I don't mind a little softness there, I don't need crazy abs). Some of the other celebs in my folder include Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry, Megan Fox, young Elizabeth Taylor or Brigitte Bardot or Jane Fonda - there are so many strong, beautiful, confident women out there who inspire me. Who's your body inspiration? What part of your body do you love?
As for my goals for this level, the cardio goal is definitely failing. It rained yesterday and today it SNOWED (grrrrrr!), which means I totally lose motivation to do anything at all. I'm thinking I might also need to invest in a new pair of shoes, so I looked up some good shoes for over-pronators and got all excited - except for the fact that they're so expensive and definitely not in my budget for now. Sigh. I guess I'll stick with my old running shoes for now (they're not THAT old, I just feel like I could be getting better support, especially if I want to do more high impact cardio), but I'll try to start saving up for new shoes along with everything else.
The past couple of days, I've been going through my "fitspiration" pictures a whole lot. I have 200+ pictures of body inspiration in a folder on my computer - some of them are celebrities, some of them are models or athletes, some of them are random people - but the one that I find myself gravitating to the most is Kim Kardashian. I have an hourglass figure, though I lack her amazing butt, and that's not something I want to lose. I like my boobs and my hips and, especially, my small waist, even if my proportions make it really hard to dress; I want to keep those proportions, but I'd like to tighten and tone and firm everything up. I don't think I'll ever have the long, lean legs I crave - I think mine are more muscular, Beyonce legs - but I'd love to slim them down. I want toned, slender arms and a flat stomach (though I don't mind a little softness there, I don't need crazy abs). Some of the other celebs in my folder include Scarlett Johansson, Katy Perry, Megan Fox, young Elizabeth Taylor or Brigitte Bardot or Jane Fonda - there are so many strong, beautiful, confident women out there who inspire me. Who's your body inspiration? What part of your body do you love?
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Level 3, day 2.
My three days on, one day off schedule started off a little rocky, since I took two rest days on Sunday and Monday - I don't know why I was so exhausted, but I suspect it has something to do with PMSing. However, I forced myself back onto the horse today and it only confirmed my suspicions about level 3 - I love it. It's so difficult and I can barely get through (I managed 20 reps for some of the leg moves, then 10-15 for the rest), but in the most amazing way that makes me feel so great. The ab moves are also incredible on this level, I was actually able to push much harder today - I love all the angles. And arms with weights went well, but it's definitely hard to follow at Tracy's speed, haha.
I finished reading Crazy Sexy Diet recently, and I'm thinking about going on the 21-Day Cleanse proposed in the book - cutting out dairy, gluten and sugar for three weeks might kill me, but I think it'll be interesting to see how it affects my body (and maybe my mind). I went to the grocery store tonight and bought some produce to make more juice, and I also bought some pizza pockets and cheesecake in the name of my experiences in Intuitive Eating - it kind of feels weird, like I'm making an excuse to give myself permission to eat "bad" food, but that's exactly what the authors were discussing in the chapter I finished last night - that there are no "good" or "bad" foods, that that's a diet mentality, and the challenge that they proposed was to make a list of foods you don't usually allow yourself to eat, go to the grocery store and buy them one at a time, and eat them. So I grabbed two of the foods that I crave and stay away from the most, and we'll see how this experience goes! I'm really enjoying the book so far - and not just because I get to eat foods that were previously off-limits.
I haven't done my cardio yet; the weather over the past two days was incredible but it rained last night and today's been a little cold, so I'm trying to pump myself up to go for a walk with the dog.
I finished reading Crazy Sexy Diet recently, and I'm thinking about going on the 21-Day Cleanse proposed in the book - cutting out dairy, gluten and sugar for three weeks might kill me, but I think it'll be interesting to see how it affects my body (and maybe my mind). I went to the grocery store tonight and bought some produce to make more juice, and I also bought some pizza pockets and cheesecake in the name of my experiences in Intuitive Eating - it kind of feels weird, like I'm making an excuse to give myself permission to eat "bad" food, but that's exactly what the authors were discussing in the chapter I finished last night - that there are no "good" or "bad" foods, that that's a diet mentality, and the challenge that they proposed was to make a list of foods you don't usually allow yourself to eat, go to the grocery store and buy them one at a time, and eat them. So I grabbed two of the foods that I crave and stay away from the most, and we'll see how this experience goes! I'm really enjoying the book so far - and not just because I get to eat foods that were previously off-limits.
I haven't done my cardio yet; the weather over the past two days was incredible but it rained last night and today's been a little cold, so I'm trying to pump myself up to go for a walk with the dog.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Level 3, day 1.
I really didn't want to do my workout today (no surprise there) but I did my first day of level 3 and I have to say, I think I am going to like this one. I did arms without weights since it was my first day, and there was definitely some difficult getting through abs - I have a hard time getting the angles right with standing abs, and an even harder time knowing when to inhale and exhale for abs on the floor - I catch myself holding my breath a lot and have to really remember to inhale. I also really like the leg work, especially all the attitude butt lifts, even though some of it was pretty tough. But I feel like I'm going to love this level; it's definitely less horrendous than level 2 was. I also walked my dog for 20 minutes, and then did 5 minutes of rebounding before my ankle and knee really started hurting.
I also got a Groupon in my inbox this morning for a three-month gym membership for only $49. They have hot yoga and Zumba, which are both things that I've wanted to try, and I could also use the treadmill to try a little treadmill dancing, and use the sauna. Included in the three-month package was also a 30-minute consultation with a trainer, and a custom training plan - I don't think I really need that, since I like the toning I'm doing with Tracy and my focus is more cardio, but we'll see what the trainer has to suggest. You can also get 50% off your first massage at their spa, which is also something I was thinking about treating myself to, so it seems like the whole offer was just tailor-made for me, like some Secret-universe-manifesting thing! The gym's a little far, but it's accessible by public transit so I can go when I'm working (or maybe even when I'm not, we'll see if I feel like commuting an hour, hour and a half to get there, haha). There are a few things that I'm nervous about, but I think it's best to just take it one day at a time.
I also got a Groupon in my inbox this morning for a three-month gym membership for only $49. They have hot yoga and Zumba, which are both things that I've wanted to try, and I could also use the treadmill to try a little treadmill dancing, and use the sauna. Included in the three-month package was also a 30-minute consultation with a trainer, and a custom training plan - I don't think I really need that, since I like the toning I'm doing with Tracy and my focus is more cardio, but we'll see what the trainer has to suggest. You can also get 50% off your first massage at their spa, which is also something I was thinking about treating myself to, so it seems like the whole offer was just tailor-made for me, like some Secret-universe-manifesting thing! The gym's a little far, but it's accessible by public transit so I can go when I'm working (or maybe even when I'm not, we'll see if I feel like commuting an hour, hour and a half to get there, haha). There are a few things that I'm nervous about, but I think it's best to just take it one day at a time.
Friday, March 9, 2012
Level 2, day 10 and measurements!
So I finally did day 10 of level 2 yesterday - and it only took me 22 days (ewww!). Today's my rest day on my three days on, one day off schedule, so we'll see how that goes, but I'm definitely aiming to finish level 3 in a timely manner.
Measurements, day 20:
weight: 200.4 (+1.2 lbs)
(I don't know if I'm measuring left bikini and right bikini correctly, I think I measured in a different place today because I couldn't remember what underwear I wore last time to follow the elastic line (haha) and I'm kinda considering doing away with those measurements entirely because I don't know if they're accurate...)
Level 2 was, in some ways, a colossal disaster numbers-wise; it took me way too long to finish, and I gained weight instead of losing, but that's totally my fault - the lack of cardio and my week of shitty eating surely made a huge difference there. However, I did lose a couple of inches in some unexpected places, and I don't think I'm imagining the changes level 2 made to my butt - one of my markers is to work my way through a drawer of jeans that don't fit; I organized them from the ones that almost fit to the ones that I couldn't even get up past my knees, and I actually dug the first pair out halfway through level 2 and have been wearing them ever since. Ah-mazing!
I'm going to start setting short-term goals for each level, not related to numbers, but just things that I think I need to focus on for the next 10 days. So, goals for level 3 are:
- to stick to my three days on, one day off schedule and actually finish level 3 in the estimated 13 days it should take
- to do at least 30 minutes of some kind of cardio every day, even if it's just walking my dog
- to work on making healthy food choices
- to continue to focus on self-esteem-building activities and exercises
I'm feeling more inspired and motivated today, but maybe that's just because I haven't previewed level 3 yet... ;) off to do that now!
Measurements, day 20:
weight: 200.4 (+1.2 lbs)
bust (cup): 41" (no change)
bust (band): 33" (+1")
arm (L): 12" (no change)
arm (R): 12.5" (-.5")
waist (smallest part): 31" (-1")
stomach (belly button): 40" (-1.5")
hips: 44" (-.5")
thigh (L): 23" (no change)
thigh (R): 23" (no change)
bikini (L): 28" (+2")
bikini (R): 29 (+2.5")
calf (L): 15.5
calf (R): 15.5
(I don't know if I'm measuring left bikini and right bikini correctly, I think I measured in a different place today because I couldn't remember what underwear I wore last time to follow the elastic line (haha) and I'm kinda considering doing away with those measurements entirely because I don't know if they're accurate...)
Level 2 was, in some ways, a colossal disaster numbers-wise; it took me way too long to finish, and I gained weight instead of losing, but that's totally my fault - the lack of cardio and my week of shitty eating surely made a huge difference there. However, I did lose a couple of inches in some unexpected places, and I don't think I'm imagining the changes level 2 made to my butt - one of my markers is to work my way through a drawer of jeans that don't fit; I organized them from the ones that almost fit to the ones that I couldn't even get up past my knees, and I actually dug the first pair out halfway through level 2 and have been wearing them ever since. Ah-mazing!
I'm going to start setting short-term goals for each level, not related to numbers, but just things that I think I need to focus on for the next 10 days. So, goals for level 3 are:
- to stick to my three days on, one day off schedule and actually finish level 3 in the estimated 13 days it should take
- to do at least 30 minutes of some kind of cardio every day, even if it's just walking my dog
- to work on making healthy food choices
- to continue to focus on self-esteem-building activities and exercises
I'm feeling more inspired and motivated today, but maybe that's just because I haven't previewed level 3 yet... ;) off to do that now!
Wednesday, March 7, 2012
Level 2, day 9.
On Monday, on my way home from work in the evening, I stopped by the bookstore a few blocks away and picked up a copy of Portia de Rossi's book, Unbearable Lightness. I'd been craving something new to read and while I wasn't too convinced by the reviews on Amazon, I gave it a shot anyway - and oh my Lawd. I read half of it that night before I forced myself to stop and go to bed (at 4 AM, oops!), then finished the other half last night and cried and cried. There was so much that I could relate to in her voice - I don't suffer from anorexia or bulimia, but I do feel like I have eating disordered thinking. I have gone through phases in my life where I didn't eat, or ate very little, and I've also suffered from problems with emotional overeating and other food issues. I was so moved by her book, but it also disturbed me a little because while reading it, I would sometimes find myself thinking "Oh, there's an idea," which made me realize just how susceptible I still am to setting an eating disorder trap for myself.
I like to consider myself pretty knowledgeable about what's good and not-so-good for me to put into my body. I'm not ultra-healthy, I have a lot of issues that need addressing, but I'm also much better than I used to be. One of the things Portia mentioned towards the end of her book is her turn to intuitive eating as a tool in her recovery from her eating disorder. That reminded me of another book I'd been meaning to read, Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. So I bought that one today and started reading it on the way home. I already don't like to think of my diet as restrictive, because I know that restricting foods only makes them more desirable and increases the likelihood of a binge - how do I know this?! Well, I have been known to eat an entire cheesecake in two days, yikes. Still, I strive for balance, and indulging once in a while is part of that - I'd just like to be able to eat ONE slice of cheesecake, instead of the whole thing.
I realized recently, after reading that article on being a Moderator vs. being an Abstainer, that it's easy for me to moderate when there's already a controlled element in play - like if I'm out to dinner at a restaurant, or somewhere where the portion size is regulated, or whatever - but if I'm at home or somewhere where I have free reign, I just can't. I'll eat the whole box of cookies, cake, whatever it is. It might take me two or three days, maybe even a week, but if it's there, I can't not eat it, and my mentality tends to be, "Well, I might as well eat it all so that it's out of the way and I've gotten rid of it." What the heck is that all about?! Hoping the book will help me get to a healthier place and learn to be able to have just a little, with the knowledge that I can have more when I want it.
Intuitive eating is fascinating to me, but it's also pretty scary, and just in the first few chapters, I feel like a lot of those fears were addressed. The one that I'm thinking about the most tonight is the mistrust I feel towards my own body, my own instincts and desires. I think that really plays into my whole quest to work on my self-esteem; I think learning to trust myself will be a big step on that journey.
One of the things the authors mentioned in the book is doing exercise because it makes you feel good, not because of the calorie burn. Now, I definitely love my MS (even if I absolutely hate it sometimes, too) - but cardio is the one that's hardest for me lately. I've been considering alternative cardio workouts, and a colleague at work recommended Zumba today, so I'm not really sure where I'm going to go with that. But I'm thinkin' on it. It's also got me wondering if I should stop weighing myself, since using weight as a unit of measurement and progress can be dangerously hard on my self-esteem (I know, because I off-handedly weighed myself yesterday after my indulgent week last week, and was super-sad to see a several-pound gain).
I also bought Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Diet, after seeing it mentioned on Amy's wonderful blog. It looked pretty engaging, and I LOVE books about food and nutrition (I have way too many already), so I splurged a little and bought it today as well. I'm really curious about what Ms. Carr has to say - I already eat vegetarian (though I have been thinking about allowing myself a little fish once in a while), and I have a growing interest in juicing (thanks to The 3-Day Cleanse, yummm), so I'm curious about what more I can learn. I'm also curious about how this kind of stuff plays into intuitive eating, how I can reconcile those two paths that seem kind of different. But maybe, hopefully, they're not that different, or that difficult to reconcile, after all.
I like to consider myself pretty knowledgeable about what's good and not-so-good for me to put into my body. I'm not ultra-healthy, I have a lot of issues that need addressing, but I'm also much better than I used to be. One of the things Portia mentioned towards the end of her book is her turn to intuitive eating as a tool in her recovery from her eating disorder. That reminded me of another book I'd been meaning to read, Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch. So I bought that one today and started reading it on the way home. I already don't like to think of my diet as restrictive, because I know that restricting foods only makes them more desirable and increases the likelihood of a binge - how do I know this?! Well, I have been known to eat an entire cheesecake in two days, yikes. Still, I strive for balance, and indulging once in a while is part of that - I'd just like to be able to eat ONE slice of cheesecake, instead of the whole thing.
I realized recently, after reading that article on being a Moderator vs. being an Abstainer, that it's easy for me to moderate when there's already a controlled element in play - like if I'm out to dinner at a restaurant, or somewhere where the portion size is regulated, or whatever - but if I'm at home or somewhere where I have free reign, I just can't. I'll eat the whole box of cookies, cake, whatever it is. It might take me two or three days, maybe even a week, but if it's there, I can't not eat it, and my mentality tends to be, "Well, I might as well eat it all so that it's out of the way and I've gotten rid of it." What the heck is that all about?! Hoping the book will help me get to a healthier place and learn to be able to have just a little, with the knowledge that I can have more when I want it.
Intuitive eating is fascinating to me, but it's also pretty scary, and just in the first few chapters, I feel like a lot of those fears were addressed. The one that I'm thinking about the most tonight is the mistrust I feel towards my own body, my own instincts and desires. I think that really plays into my whole quest to work on my self-esteem; I think learning to trust myself will be a big step on that journey.
One of the things the authors mentioned in the book is doing exercise because it makes you feel good, not because of the calorie burn. Now, I definitely love my MS (even if I absolutely hate it sometimes, too) - but cardio is the one that's hardest for me lately. I've been considering alternative cardio workouts, and a colleague at work recommended Zumba today, so I'm not really sure where I'm going to go with that. But I'm thinkin' on it. It's also got me wondering if I should stop weighing myself, since using weight as a unit of measurement and progress can be dangerously hard on my self-esteem (I know, because I off-handedly weighed myself yesterday after my indulgent week last week, and was super-sad to see a several-pound gain).
I also bought Kris Carr's Crazy Sexy Diet, after seeing it mentioned on Amy's wonderful blog. It looked pretty engaging, and I LOVE books about food and nutrition (I have way too many already), so I splurged a little and bought it today as well. I'm really curious about what Ms. Carr has to say - I already eat vegetarian (though I have been thinking about allowing myself a little fish once in a while), and I have a growing interest in juicing (thanks to The 3-Day Cleanse, yummm), so I'm curious about what more I can learn. I'm also curious about how this kind of stuff plays into intuitive eating, how I can reconcile those two paths that seem kind of different. But maybe, hopefully, they're not that different, or that difficult to reconcile, after all.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Level 2, days 7 & 8.
I can't believe it's been almost a week since I did my Tracy! It just goes to show that if I allow myself too much slack, it's way too easy for me to get off track. I did my workout today, pushing myself to do 15 reps for most of the exercises, and I took a 15-minute walk with my dog and then tacked on a measly 5 minutes of rebounder work, but that's still a total of 20 minutes for cardio... kinda.
Food-wise, things were definitely not so great this past week, either. I made a roasted vegetable lasagna with mushrooms and zucchini, which was delicious, but c'mon - carbs and cheese always are. I also went to a family dinner for my grandmother's 80th birthday and had one of the only vegetarian dishes on the menu, which just so happened to be (god, I don't even want to say it) pasta in a three-cheese sauce. The sauce was so rich and thick and creamy, but not even in a good way - it felt like a weight in my stomach, it wasn't even good because it was just too much. And then when I went to brunch with my best friend over the weekend, I had a delicious meal and felt the opposite of what the pasta made me feel - that satisfied feeling where you know your belly is full of delicious, good stuff - but when we got back to my place, we ended up making chocolate chip cookies, hahahaha. So this week has been really indulgent and kind of gross, but I'm back on the train now. I'm going to caramelize some onions and wilt some baby spinach and make a quiche (I've made three already in the past couple of weeks, I'm back on a quiche kick).
I'm also thinking that I might try, instead of doing six days on, one day off, to do three days on, one day off. I think it might be more manageable for me to work in three-day increments, so I won't get totally discouraged waiting for my next rest day - and I'll still be doing six days a week, but my rest day will move around. The only concern I have with that is if I can't fit a workout in on a specific day, but whatever, I will just have to suck it up and learn to wake up an hour earlier if I have to!
Food-wise, things were definitely not so great this past week, either. I made a roasted vegetable lasagna with mushrooms and zucchini, which was delicious, but c'mon - carbs and cheese always are. I also went to a family dinner for my grandmother's 80th birthday and had one of the only vegetarian dishes on the menu, which just so happened to be (god, I don't even want to say it) pasta in a three-cheese sauce. The sauce was so rich and thick and creamy, but not even in a good way - it felt like a weight in my stomach, it wasn't even good because it was just too much. And then when I went to brunch with my best friend over the weekend, I had a delicious meal and felt the opposite of what the pasta made me feel - that satisfied feeling where you know your belly is full of delicious, good stuff - but when we got back to my place, we ended up making chocolate chip cookies, hahahaha. So this week has been really indulgent and kind of gross, but I'm back on the train now. I'm going to caramelize some onions and wilt some baby spinach and make a quiche (I've made three already in the past couple of weeks, I'm back on a quiche kick).
I'm also thinking that I might try, instead of doing six days on, one day off, to do three days on, one day off. I think it might be more manageable for me to work in three-day increments, so I won't get totally discouraged waiting for my next rest day - and I'll still be doing six days a week, but my rest day will move around. The only concern I have with that is if I can't fit a workout in on a specific day, but whatever, I will just have to suck it up and learn to wake up an hour earlier if I have to!
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Level 2, days 5 & 6.
Day 5 was on Saturday, but after all that soul-searching the night before, I didn't have much energy left for blogging. And that turned into two days off... and now back on again, and, somehow, I've made it past the halfway mark for level 2? How did this happen?!
Today's MS was stellar - well, as stellar as it can be, for me. I did 15 reps of everything, except that last ta-da move, where I did 10 reps on the right side and 8 reps on the left, hahaha. 15 reps doesn't sound like a lot, but the back of my neck/hairline was dripping and I was wobbling like crazy. I'm really proud of myself for pushing through and not giving myself any shortcuts or excuses. DC was not so stellar, I don't know if I even managed 10 minutes. I tried to do the Meta DC on the floor, and then on the rebounder, and my body just wasn't having it. After getting used to DC on the rebounder, trying to jump on the floor feels so terrible, the ground feels so hard. It might be that I need new shoes, I don't know, but cardio's giving me such trouble lately. I'm longing for spring, when I can go out "treadmill" dancing on the bike path - or just walking, or running, or whatever. My body feels like it's craving a jog, and I'm peeved that I can't do that, especially not after we had a SNOWSTORM this weekend!
I've also been thinking a lot about motivation. I know I'm not committed enough to this program, I'm taking way too many rest days. I'd really like to do my Meta at LEAST 5, if not 6, days a week. I also think I need to take a long, hard look at my diet and re-download one of the calorie counting apps I had on my iPod (or when I hopefully get an iPhone 4S?!) so that I can track what I'm eating and be more self-aware in that way.
My mom used to do Richard Simmons - I remember she had one of his Sweatin' To The Oldies VHS tapes, and his FoodMover program - and she also has this book he wrote called Never Give Up, which I dug out of her bedroom and started reading again. His energy is so infectious and the stories are so inspiring - many of these people weighed so much more than I do, and had 200, 300, 400 lbs. to lose. It's kind of helping me put things into perspective.
I have more that I want to say about self-esteem and a conversation I had at work and everything that I've been thinking about, but I'll have to cut this short because I have to leave for work in 15 minutes, so I'll leave it for tomorrow. To be continued!...
Today's MS was stellar - well, as stellar as it can be, for me. I did 15 reps of everything, except that last ta-da move, where I did 10 reps on the right side and 8 reps on the left, hahaha. 15 reps doesn't sound like a lot, but the back of my neck/hairline was dripping and I was wobbling like crazy. I'm really proud of myself for pushing through and not giving myself any shortcuts or excuses. DC was not so stellar, I don't know if I even managed 10 minutes. I tried to do the Meta DC on the floor, and then on the rebounder, and my body just wasn't having it. After getting used to DC on the rebounder, trying to jump on the floor feels so terrible, the ground feels so hard. It might be that I need new shoes, I don't know, but cardio's giving me such trouble lately. I'm longing for spring, when I can go out "treadmill" dancing on the bike path - or just walking, or running, or whatever. My body feels like it's craving a jog, and I'm peeved that I can't do that, especially not after we had a SNOWSTORM this weekend!
I've also been thinking a lot about motivation. I know I'm not committed enough to this program, I'm taking way too many rest days. I'd really like to do my Meta at LEAST 5, if not 6, days a week. I also think I need to take a long, hard look at my diet and re-download one of the calorie counting apps I had on my iPod (or when I hopefully get an iPhone 4S?!) so that I can track what I'm eating and be more self-aware in that way.
My mom used to do Richard Simmons - I remember she had one of his Sweatin' To The Oldies VHS tapes, and his FoodMover program - and she also has this book he wrote called Never Give Up, which I dug out of her bedroom and started reading again. His energy is so infectious and the stories are so inspiring - many of these people weighed so much more than I do, and had 200, 300, 400 lbs. to lose. It's kind of helping me put things into perspective.
I have more that I want to say about self-esteem and a conversation I had at work and everything that I've been thinking about, but I'll have to cut this short because I have to leave for work in 15 minutes, so I'll leave it for tomorrow. To be continued!...
Friday, February 24, 2012
Level 2, day 4 and some thoughts on self-esteem and relationships.
Thank you so much for all your sweet comments on my last post. I thought of them while I was doing my workout today - I'm still mostly hating it, but I pushed through. Did 10 minutes of cardio today, and I'm aiming for 15 tomorrow.
Today was definitely a day of reflection for me, though. I've been thinking a lot about the self-esteem issues that I have - during my post-workout shower, I was thinking how part of me is working out because I want to feel beautiful and strong. I've never been in a real relationship, mostly because the guys I usually liked didn't like me back, I never wanted to date any of the guys who were interested in me and I had no interest in dating them just for the experience - it seemed both pointless and unfair to lead them on. But while at work, I was talking to one of my friends and she was telling me that she's interested in this girl, but the girl she's interested in has never been in a relationship and it's putting her (my friend) off. That got me all worried, because I'm 25 and honestly, it makes me feel like kind of a freak that I have no experience in that area of life. What my friend told me really played on my fear that no one is ever going to want to date me because it'll be too weird, there'll be too much of a learning curve for me, it'll be too complicated, they won't want to waste their time or energy, like I'll never be worth it for anybody to take a chance on.
Part of my holding back from being in a relationship also stems from certain things that happened when I was younger, and a sort of emotional breakdown I went through when I was in high school related to those events - that was around the same time that I went through puberty and gained a lot of weight, and I do think that part of my weight gain was due to wanting to build a protective shell around myself. My fat has been a way for me to keep people at a distance, and at the same time, it's also been an excuse - if someone didn't like me, I could justify it by telling myself that it's because I'm not pretty enough, I'm too fat, whatever. It scares me to think that when I lose weight, men might show more interest and I'll have to deal with that.
At the same time, I was thinking today about how I've spent the past ten years of my life feeling like I'm ugly and worthless. That, to me, is just heartbreaking. I look back at pictures from three or four years ago, when I went on tour with my best friend's band, and I think, wow, I really was actually kind of cute back then! But I felt hideous and gross and terrible about myself. And then I think, you know, maybe I'm pretty now too, and I don't want to spend ten more years not believing that. I should be enjoying myself, my body, my life, while I'm in my prime.
Which leads me back to the whole relationship thing. I know I've pushed people away because I'm afraid of letting them in, I'm afraid of so many things - feeling ugly, being taken advantage of, getting hurt, whatever. Sometimes I think I need professional help to get through this, because even if I DID let someone in close enough to start some semblance of a relationship, I don't even know how I would deal with the emotional trauma I've been through, and it seems so unfair to have to drag someone else through all of the bullshit with me.
I'm a good person, I'm sweet and funny, I'm caring and loyal, I love so deeply and I'll work really hard to keep the people around me happy, but I'm also impossibly awkward, I don't know how to navigate social situations, I cry a lot, I have all of this fear and lack of experience and sadness. Sometimes, it seems like the negatives outweigh the positives a hundred to one, and it seems impossible that anyone would ever take a chance on me. It's easy to say that the right guy will be patient with me, that he'll love me enough to go through all the hard stuff with me, but I don't know if that's realistic or if that's just something people say to make you feel better. I feel like the bad stuff is going to scare people away faster than the good stuff can keep them close to me.
I don't really know where I'm going with this. I guess you all were just so encouraging and insightful towards my last concerns that I wonder if anyone will have anything to say on this subject. I guess I'll leave this for now, though, since I pretty much just started crying (see!) and I think I should probably step back and reflect on some of this. Thanks in advance for any insight you brilliant ladies have to share. x
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Level 2, day 3.
I guess I kinda disappeared for a while, there... part of it was my stomach bug, part of it was pure laziness, but I somehow managed to convince myself that I didn't want to quit and I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and did my workout today.
Well, kinda.
Arms and abs were okay, but it's legs that kill me - I couldn't even bust out 10 reps for some of these moves, which, of course, made me feel really frustrated and disappointed in myself, and that nagging little voice in my head came back. The one that says, "maybe Tracy is only for people who are already in fairly good shape. Maybe you should give up on this until you're in better shape. Maybe you should just give up entirely and accept that you're fat and you're going to be fat forever!" I HATE that little voice, because it's so easy for me to believe it. I have to really fight to tell myself that Tracy is HOW I'm getting in shape, that by pushing through this, I'll eventually be able to keep up with her much better.
What frustrates me also is that my legs are the strongest part of my body - they're very muscular and firm and strong already, so I hate that they're the hardest part of the MS for me to get through. Sometimes it's due to my poor upper body strength (hello, torture device more commonly known as planks), but sometimes I just feel like my legs are so heavy that I can't lift them. It makes me feel weak and angry and sad.
I also only managed a pitiful 5 minutes of cardio - I got through one song and then broke down and went off to take a shower. The past few days have been so beautiful, weather-wise, that I was hoping to get out for a brisk walk with my dog, but then I caught a flurry of snowflakes falling outside (damnit!) so I guess that ain't happenin' for now.
I feel like I'm in such a quitting mood lately, and I'm sure it's due to a whole bunch of stuff - getting over my bug, not really having eaten real food for three days until I stuffed my face with crap last night, having been out of the workout loop for several days, being on a torturous level that's bad enough even on a good day... I keep trying to stay positive, and, to be fair, I did feel a little swell of pride when I looked in the mirror dressed in my tights and tank-top before my workout, thinking that my body does have a nice shape and I'm actually getting a nice butt and muscles in my arms.
I just get so discouraged by the amount of weight I have to lose, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm not going to lose it by sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I don't mind if it comes off more slowly, I don't expect to lose ten pounds in two weeks or something - it's not the progress that bothers me, it's the sheer size of the mountain I'm trying to climb. It's easy for me to pep talk myself with all of the "take it one day at a time" stuff, but it's much harder for me to actually absorb that and live it and try to find some kind of balance and make some kind of peace with the journey I'm on.
Well, kinda.
Arms and abs were okay, but it's legs that kill me - I couldn't even bust out 10 reps for some of these moves, which, of course, made me feel really frustrated and disappointed in myself, and that nagging little voice in my head came back. The one that says, "maybe Tracy is only for people who are already in fairly good shape. Maybe you should give up on this until you're in better shape. Maybe you should just give up entirely and accept that you're fat and you're going to be fat forever!" I HATE that little voice, because it's so easy for me to believe it. I have to really fight to tell myself that Tracy is HOW I'm getting in shape, that by pushing through this, I'll eventually be able to keep up with her much better.
What frustrates me also is that my legs are the strongest part of my body - they're very muscular and firm and strong already, so I hate that they're the hardest part of the MS for me to get through. Sometimes it's due to my poor upper body strength (hello, torture device more commonly known as planks), but sometimes I just feel like my legs are so heavy that I can't lift them. It makes me feel weak and angry and sad.
I also only managed a pitiful 5 minutes of cardio - I got through one song and then broke down and went off to take a shower. The past few days have been so beautiful, weather-wise, that I was hoping to get out for a brisk walk with my dog, but then I caught a flurry of snowflakes falling outside (damnit!) so I guess that ain't happenin' for now.
I feel like I'm in such a quitting mood lately, and I'm sure it's due to a whole bunch of stuff - getting over my bug, not really having eaten real food for three days until I stuffed my face with crap last night, having been out of the workout loop for several days, being on a torturous level that's bad enough even on a good day... I keep trying to stay positive, and, to be fair, I did feel a little swell of pride when I looked in the mirror dressed in my tights and tank-top before my workout, thinking that my body does have a nice shape and I'm actually getting a nice butt and muscles in my arms.
I just get so discouraged by the amount of weight I have to lose, but I have to keep telling myself that I'm not going to lose it by sitting around feeling sorry for myself. I don't mind if it comes off more slowly, I don't expect to lose ten pounds in two weeks or something - it's not the progress that bothers me, it's the sheer size of the mountain I'm trying to climb. It's easy for me to pep talk myself with all of the "take it one day at a time" stuff, but it's much harder for me to actually absorb that and live it and try to find some kind of balance and make some kind of peace with the journey I'm on.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Sick day.
So I took a rest day yesterday, thinking I'd get back on the ball today - but when I woke up this morning, I had horrible stomach cramps. I ate a few Tums, took a shower and started to get dressed, thinking that maybe my sick feeling would go away. It didn't, so I finally decided to call in sick to work, which ended up being the right move, because I spent the whole day running back and forth between the bathroom and my bed, curled up in fetal position with a heating pad on my stomach (which was the only thing that seemed to bring a little bit of relief).
After 12 hours, I started to feel a little better, so I allowed myself some fresh fruit juice - I juiced a pear and a handful of green grapes, and drank maybe half the juice in little baby sips, so it really wasn't much. The only other thing I had today was a cup of ginger, peppermint and fennel tea in the morning. I'm starting to feel a little bit of an appetite, but I think I'm just going to read some Harry Potter and go to bed - I don't want to eat anything for fear of not being out of the woods yet. I'm already worried enough about the fruit juice I had not being good for my stomach!
We'll see how I feel tomorrow, but I might give myself a break on the workout unless my body's feeling fantastically better. I think I need some time to rest and recover, but I should be back by Monday.
After 12 hours, I started to feel a little better, so I allowed myself some fresh fruit juice - I juiced a pear and a handful of green grapes, and drank maybe half the juice in little baby sips, so it really wasn't much. The only other thing I had today was a cup of ginger, peppermint and fennel tea in the morning. I'm starting to feel a little bit of an appetite, but I think I'm just going to read some Harry Potter and go to bed - I don't want to eat anything for fear of not being out of the woods yet. I'm already worried enough about the fruit juice I had not being good for my stomach!
We'll see how I feel tomorrow, but I might give myself a break on the workout unless my body's feeling fantastically better. I think I need some time to rest and recover, but I should be back by Monday.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Level 2, day 2.
Today was definitely a tough one - I only did 15 minutes of cardio, and I scraped through another 10 or 15 reps in my MS, but I could already feel slight changes (for example, I actually managed to do the last "ta-da!" move today). I also used 3 lbs. weights for my arms, which made a CRAZY difference, holy crap they were so heavy! I definitely think they're going to make a huge difference in my arms.
Food-wise, I went grocery shopping last night and bought a huge bunch of dill to try in a salad recipe. While wondering, "What else can I do with dill?" I remembered my best friend's incredible potato salad, so I sent her an email asking her what she puts in there and when I got home last night, I made a big bowl of potato salad - and promptly ate most of it. I finished it for breakfast today, and I'm already planning another batch.
See, my best friend is the kind of person who can throw a bunch of ingredients together and make a meal. She doesn't usually bother with measuring anything, she just tosses it all in there as she goes along. So I used her philosophy while making her potato salad, tossing together some sour cream with a little mayo, loads of chopped dill, boiled potatoes and hard-boiled eggs, chopped leek, and I added some diced celery for a little crunch. I'll have to make it again with Greek yogurt today, since I only bought the littlest container of sour cream, so we'll see how that turns out, but I think she would approve of my adventurous spirit. As long as it tastes good, right?
Food-wise, I went grocery shopping last night and bought a huge bunch of dill to try in a salad recipe. While wondering, "What else can I do with dill?" I remembered my best friend's incredible potato salad, so I sent her an email asking her what she puts in there and when I got home last night, I made a big bowl of potato salad - and promptly ate most of it. I finished it for breakfast today, and I'm already planning another batch.
See, my best friend is the kind of person who can throw a bunch of ingredients together and make a meal. She doesn't usually bother with measuring anything, she just tosses it all in there as she goes along. So I used her philosophy while making her potato salad, tossing together some sour cream with a little mayo, loads of chopped dill, boiled potatoes and hard-boiled eggs, chopped leek, and I added some diced celery for a little crunch. I'll have to make it again with Greek yogurt today, since I only bought the littlest container of sour cream, so we'll see how that turns out, but I think she would approve of my adventurous spirit. As long as it tastes good, right?
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Level 2, day 1.
After previewing level 2 last night, I thought "What fresh hell is this?!" Everything looked so fast and insane, for a few minutes I thought I must have skipped ahead to level 3 by accident, but alas.
I still feel like there should have been a level in between to prepare me for this madness, but I'm sure that's part of the process - to push yourself harder, so that by the end of level 2, I'll be all "I can do it after all!" I mean, that's my hope, because I definitely couldn't do it all today. I barely managed 10 reps of everything, and some, like that move where you have to lift off on your palm and one knee, the one where she tells you to have the "ta-da!" moment with your foot, I couldn't even manage at all. I'm reeeeeally hoping I can manage to step it up as I go along, because today's MS was totally pathetic.
As for DC, I did maybe 20 minutes (10 before MS and 10 after) before stepping off the rebounder to get some water, and when I did that, my legs were so wobbly that I felt like I was in Harry Potter and someone had put the Jelly-Legs Jinx on me. Also, Jelly-Arms. While I was previewing arms yesterday, I thought "Holy crap, I'll never be able to do them that fast," but I DID. It was much easier to follow when I was actually doing them, and the free arms made my arms burn SO BAD. I used my 1 lb. weights since it was my first day, but I think I'll move up to 3 lbs. from now on, since I really want to push myself with arms. Anyway, I can hardly walk or lift my arms or hold anything, which I think is a good start for level 2.
I still feel like there should have been a level in between to prepare me for this madness, but I'm sure that's part of the process - to push yourself harder, so that by the end of level 2, I'll be all "I can do it after all!" I mean, that's my hope, because I definitely couldn't do it all today. I barely managed 10 reps of everything, and some, like that move where you have to lift off on your palm and one knee, the one where she tells you to have the "ta-da!" moment with your foot, I couldn't even manage at all. I'm reeeeeally hoping I can manage to step it up as I go along, because today's MS was totally pathetic.
As for DC, I did maybe 20 minutes (10 before MS and 10 after) before stepping off the rebounder to get some water, and when I did that, my legs were so wobbly that I felt like I was in Harry Potter and someone had put the Jelly-Legs Jinx on me. Also, Jelly-Arms. While I was previewing arms yesterday, I thought "Holy crap, I'll never be able to do them that fast," but I DID. It was much easier to follow when I was actually doing them, and the free arms made my arms burn SO BAD. I used my 1 lb. weights since it was my first day, but I think I'll move up to 3 lbs. from now on, since I really want to push myself with arms. Anyway, I can hardly walk or lift my arms or hold anything, which I think is a good start for level 2.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 10!!!!
I made it to day 10!!!! And it only took me 18 days, hahahaha. But still, I'm proud of myself, especially because I almost didn't do my day 10 workout today - I didn't sleep very much or very well last night, because one of the boys I was babysitting for the slumber party kept talking/yelling in his sleep and waking me up, and I was so exhausted today. I ended up taking a three-hour nap and got my workout in this evening, which was different for me, since I usually work out in the morning or late afternoon. But I'm glad I did it.
I don't know if I'll be able to start level 2 tomorrow, since I'm working an 8-hour shift instead of my usual 4 - but we'll see if I feel up to working out when I get home. I do have Tuesday - Friday off, though, so I think that'll give me a great start on level 2, with no interruptions. I haven't previewed level 2 yet, I'm kind of nervous but excited as well.
And speaking of excitement, let me share my new measurements with you! I added some new ones (taking both thighs and arms instead of just on the left side, and the ever-confusing left bikini, right bikini).
I don't know if I'll be able to start level 2 tomorrow, since I'm working an 8-hour shift instead of my usual 4 - but we'll see if I feel up to working out when I get home. I do have Tuesday - Friday off, though, so I think that'll give me a great start on level 2, with no interruptions. I haven't previewed level 2 yet, I'm kind of nervous but excited as well.
And speaking of excitement, let me share my new measurements with you! I added some new ones (taking both thighs and arms instead of just on the left side, and the ever-confusing left bikini, right bikini).
Measurements, day 10:
weight: 199.2 (-1.8 lbs)
bust (cup): 41" (no change)
bust (band): 32" (-.75")
arm (L): 12 (-1")
arm (R): 13"
waist (smallest part): 32" (no change)
stomach (belly button) 41.5" (+.5")
hips: 44.5" (-.5")
thigh (L): 23" (no change)
thigh (R): 23"
bikini (L): 26"
bikini (R) 26.5"
Considering how long it took me to get through level 1, and the fact that I'm not following a food plan, and that I took so many rest days, I'm pretty pleased with those results! Of course, I want to beat them for level 2, so I'll have to push myself harder and make it happen, but we're off to a good start, I think.
Considering how long it took me to get through level 1, and the fact that I'm not following a food plan, and that I took so many rest days, I'm pretty pleased with those results! Of course, I want to beat them for level 2, so I'll have to push myself harder and make it happen, but we're off to a good start, I think.
Friday, February 10, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 9.
I actually did my workout today - kinda. I must confess that I dragged through (most of) the MS, and then did a measly 8 minutes of cardio before giving up. I'm certain that I'm coming down with a cold, I even had to stop between my leg sets so that I could go make some fresh cantaloupe-orange juice to take my grapefruit seed extract with, because I felt sure that if I didn't take it RIGHT THEN, I was going to die. (Have I mentioned that I'm even more dramatic than usual thanks to PMS?)
However, I did walk a good hour at least, today, since I packed a whole bunch of errands into my afternoon. Well, not so much errands, more like picking up my pay cheque, getting my eyebrows done, a visit to my hairdresser's, and an Adam Cohen show to cap off my evening (it was fantastic, I even allowed myself a glass of white wine because I was feeling so fancy and grown up). Walking's not exactly the same pace for cardio, but hey, it's better than nothing, right?
My next workout will be DAY 10, the end of level one (!!!) and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to wait until Sunday. I'm working tomorrow, and after my shift at work, I'm babysitting a slumber party, which means that I'll be sleeping over at the family's house, too. And I really want to get in a good, solid, day 10 workout, not half-ass it, so I think I'll wait until I get home on Sunday so I can power through it and then do measurements. But I'm making it my mission to get through level two more quickly than I made it through level one, at least!
However, I did walk a good hour at least, today, since I packed a whole bunch of errands into my afternoon. Well, not so much errands, more like picking up my pay cheque, getting my eyebrows done, a visit to my hairdresser's, and an Adam Cohen show to cap off my evening (it was fantastic, I even allowed myself a glass of white wine because I was feeling so fancy and grown up). Walking's not exactly the same pace for cardio, but hey, it's better than nothing, right?
My next workout will be DAY 10, the end of level one (!!!) and, unfortunately, I think it's going to have to wait until Sunday. I'm working tomorrow, and after my shift at work, I'm babysitting a slumber party, which means that I'll be sleeping over at the family's house, too. And I really want to get in a good, solid, day 10 workout, not half-ass it, so I think I'll wait until I get home on Sunday so I can power through it and then do measurements. But I'm making it my mission to get through level two more quickly than I made it through level one, at least!
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 8.
Took ANOTHER rest day yesterday because I was just completely wiped, I was in bed around 8:30 PM (even though I did stay up reading Harry Potter for an hour or two). This morning, I hopped back on the wagon - but it was definitely one of those days where I kept thinking how much I HATE Tracy! Which isn't even a little bit true, for the record. I'm just grumpy.
I'm already feeling the burn in my butt from today's workout, which is fantastic, even if I was hardly able to get through MS and only did 15 minutes of cardio today. I'm also kind of amazed at the muscles I feel in my arm already - I've been working with 1 lb. weights, but my goal is to move up to 3 lbs. when I get to level 2.
I'm going to keep this a short post because I still haven't eaten yet... but I do want to mention that I'm thinking of trading in my BlackBerry, with its cracked screen, for an iPhone 4S soon - it would be great to be able to take and share pictures easily here - do any of you have an iPhone? What are your thoughts?
I'm already feeling the burn in my butt from today's workout, which is fantastic, even if I was hardly able to get through MS and only did 15 minutes of cardio today. I'm also kind of amazed at the muscles I feel in my arm already - I've been working with 1 lb. weights, but my goal is to move up to 3 lbs. when I get to level 2.
I'm going to keep this a short post because I still haven't eaten yet... but I do want to mention that I'm thinking of trading in my BlackBerry, with its cracked screen, for an iPhone 4S soon - it would be great to be able to take and share pictures easily here - do any of you have an iPhone? What are your thoughts?
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 7.
My unexpected days off seem to have a habit of snowballing - fortunately, I stopped the cycle and actually DID my workout today, even though I'm PMSing and I think I'm coming down with a cold. But I realized that, you know what, it's not always going to be easy to get my workout in. In fact, more often than not, it's hard as hell. There are obstacles, I'll have time management issues, things will come up, I won't feel good or I just won't want to - but I have to remember that I'm doing this for ME. I don't want to be at this same place this time next year, thinking "Man, if I'd kept with it a year ago, I'd be so much closer to my goal by now (or maybe even reached it)!"
That said, getting back on the Tracy train was haaaard today. I split up my cardio but I still only managed about twenty minutes, because I kept having to stop and start. And where I was starting to feel like the 1 lb. weight I was using for arms wasn't enough, I definitely felt the weight of it again today. Everything was harder than it was where I left off, which, I guess, is totally normal, considering I took FOUR DAYS off (oops!)
Still, it's kind of amazing that today marks one week of workouts. Only three more days on level one, and then I'm movin' on up, which is totally exciting! I'll do measurements and everything on day 10, but I'm not expecting much considering how this first level went. Still, it feels good to look forward to getting through the first ten days and making more of a commitment.
That said, getting back on the Tracy train was haaaard today. I split up my cardio but I still only managed about twenty minutes, because I kept having to stop and start. And where I was starting to feel like the 1 lb. weight I was using for arms wasn't enough, I definitely felt the weight of it again today. Everything was harder than it was where I left off, which, I guess, is totally normal, considering I took FOUR DAYS off (oops!)
Still, it's kind of amazing that today marks one week of workouts. Only three more days on level one, and then I'm movin' on up, which is totally exciting! I'll do measurements and everything on day 10, but I'm not expecting much considering how this first level went. Still, it feels good to look forward to getting through the first ten days and making more of a commitment.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Interlude!
So I wasn't planning on taking a rest day today, but I don't know what I did yesterday - I woke up in the middle of the night with a pain in my back, like I pinched a nerve or something. It kept catching me off guard when I'd twist or turn or bend a certain way, so I decided it was better to take the day off and try to let my back rest a little so that it hopefully feels better tomorrow, rather than push myself today and hurt myself even more.
I have to admit, I'm a little bummed out because I was - gasp! - actually starting to look forward to my workout... well, just the teeny tiniest bit, but still! I've been slathering my back in Tiger Balm and I'm hoping it feels better soon. I'll try stretching as much as I can - does anyone have any other tips?
I have to admit, I'm a little bummed out because I was - gasp! - actually starting to look forward to my workout... well, just the teeny tiniest bit, but still! I've been slathering my back in Tiger Balm and I'm hoping it feels better soon. I'll try stretching as much as I can - does anyone have any other tips?
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 6.
Took another unscheduled rest day yesterday, because I got home from work and running errands around 5:30 and decided that I was going to take a nap for an hour or so, since I'd only slept maybe five or six hours the night before - but I slept through my alarm and woke up at 9:30 PM! I read a little Harry Potter and went back to bed, and I ended up sleeping a looooong-ass time. My body must have been really worn out.
That said, I think I'll just take yesterday as my "official" rest day, since it was supposed to be tomorrow. I don't mind giving myself two rest days a week instead of just one, if I need it, especially this early in the game.
Just finished my workout - did 15 minutes of cardio before my MS, then pulled through the MS - abs on the floor made me really dizzy so I took it easy there, but I actually managed to do that one leg exercise that I can never get through! Only 15 reps, but still, that's a major improvement from 1 or 2, haha. And then I did another, er, 13 minutes of cardio after MS. I really think this splitting my cardio up before and after thing is helping a lot, even though it was definitely harder to get through post-MS this time around.
It's also so weird to think that tomorrow, I'll be one week into my method workouts, and then only a few more days until I'm finished level one and onto level two... it's scary, but exciting at the same time!
That said, I think I'll just take yesterday as my "official" rest day, since it was supposed to be tomorrow. I don't mind giving myself two rest days a week instead of just one, if I need it, especially this early in the game.
Just finished my workout - did 15 minutes of cardio before my MS, then pulled through the MS - abs on the floor made me really dizzy so I took it easy there, but I actually managed to do that one leg exercise that I can never get through! Only 15 reps, but still, that's a major improvement from 1 or 2, haha. And then I did another, er, 13 minutes of cardio after MS. I really think this splitting my cardio up before and after thing is helping a lot, even though it was definitely harder to get through post-MS this time around.
It's also so weird to think that tomorrow, I'll be one week into my method workouts, and then only a few more days until I'm finished level one and onto level two... it's scary, but exciting at the same time!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 5.
Took an unscheduled rest day yesterday, because I worked a longer shift and then spent a few hours with my best friend. I had the day off today, and I was thinking it might be another unscheduled rest day, but I changed into my workout clothes when I got out of bed and after a few hours, I FINALLY got off my lazy butt and did it.
I started with cardio on my rebounder (I usually do MS first), thinking that switching them up might make it easier to get through half an hour, but nope, I still only managed 15 minutes. Then I decided I was going to try to learn Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease routine (ha ha ha), so I did the warm up for that and was just about to start the actual routine when my brother got home. I was thoroughly bored by that time (granted, it WAS just the warm up, so it was meant to be slow), so I popped in my Tracy and did my MS - actually managed 25 reps on most of the leg moves, and 30 REPS on the last two, yay! And I even managed to get through one of the leg moves that was really, really hard for me before (the one where you pull your knee to your side and then straighten and pulse twice), which made me feel really good about myself - but the move after that (the leg straight out to the side with a bounce and then pull your knee back in) still killed me, I actually skipped it today, oops.
AND THEN. I did ANOTHER 15 minutes of cardio on my rebounder! WHAT?! Yes, that's right, I actually did a full 30 minutes total, WHICH WAS AMAZING. I sweat so much more than usual and I felt GREAT about it. I think I might try splitting my cardio in two, before and after MS, until I can do the full 30 minutes at once.
So all in all, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for today's workout, and actually HOPING I feel the burn tomorrow - I'm starting to miss it!
I started with cardio on my rebounder (I usually do MS first), thinking that switching them up might make it easier to get through half an hour, but nope, I still only managed 15 minutes. Then I decided I was going to try to learn Carmen Electra's Aerobic Striptease routine (ha ha ha), so I did the warm up for that and was just about to start the actual routine when my brother got home. I was thoroughly bored by that time (granted, it WAS just the warm up, so it was meant to be slow), so I popped in my Tracy and did my MS - actually managed 25 reps on most of the leg moves, and 30 REPS on the last two, yay! And I even managed to get through one of the leg moves that was really, really hard for me before (the one where you pull your knee to your side and then straighten and pulse twice), which made me feel really good about myself - but the move after that (the leg straight out to the side with a bounce and then pull your knee back in) still killed me, I actually skipped it today, oops.
AND THEN. I did ANOTHER 15 minutes of cardio on my rebounder! WHAT?! Yes, that's right, I actually did a full 30 minutes total, WHICH WAS AMAZING. I sweat so much more than usual and I felt GREAT about it. I think I might try splitting my cardio in two, before and after MS, until I can do the full 30 minutes at once.
So all in all, I'm feeling pretty proud of myself for today's workout, and actually HOPING I feel the burn tomorrow - I'm starting to miss it!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 4.
So today was another "maybe I should take an extra rest day" day. I dragged through arms and most of abs, then said fuck it and skipped legs on the condition that I banged out 15 minutes of cardio.
I think my low energy is partly a mental roadblock, partly the regular slump after starting a new exercise routine, and partly because I haven't exactly been feeding myself very well. My fridge is practically empty, so I've been eating a lot of oven-roasted potatoes, and I made brownies today in honor of my best friend coming over. Definitely going to have to pick up some groceries soon and start following Tracy's meal plan - or, at the very least, forcing myself to eat better! I can't quit so soon - or at all!
I think I might pull out the old "vision scrapbook" that I'd started and try to paste a few more fitspirational pictures and words in there... maybe that'll remind me why I'm doing this. (For ME! For my health and fitness! Because I've put it off long enough, damnit!)
I think my low energy is partly a mental roadblock, partly the regular slump after starting a new exercise routine, and partly because I haven't exactly been feeding myself very well. My fridge is practically empty, so I've been eating a lot of oven-roasted potatoes, and I made brownies today in honor of my best friend coming over. Definitely going to have to pick up some groceries soon and start following Tracy's meal plan - or, at the very least, forcing myself to eat better! I can't quit so soon - or at all!
I think I might pull out the old "vision scrapbook" that I'd started and try to paste a few more fitspirational pictures and words in there... maybe that'll remind me why I'm doing this. (For ME! For my health and fitness! Because I've put it off long enough, damnit!)
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 3.
I had to get up early for work today, so I didn't get my workout in this morning, which made me realize - if I don't do my workout in the morning, chances are it's not going to get done. By the time I got home, I had pretty much made up my mind that I wasn't going to do my workout, that I was going to skip it for today. But I thought of my best friend, living halfway across the world in Sweden, who told me yesterday that she had bookmarked my blog so I better update every day! and I thought to myself how sad it would be to take an undeserved rest day after only two days.
Then I got dressed and did my stupid workout. (Well, mostly.)
I did the MS, with some half-assing a few leg moves, and then I did... dun-dun-dun... only about ten minutes of cardio before I really couldn't drag myself through it anymore. I just didn't have the energy. So for that, I did give myself a break, went upstairs and took a quick bath with some Epsom salts, and resolved to put in a much better workout tomorrow morning, when I actually have the day off!
Then I got dressed and did my stupid workout. (Well, mostly.)
I did the MS, with some half-assing a few leg moves, and then I did... dun-dun-dun... only about ten minutes of cardio before I really couldn't drag myself through it anymore. I just didn't have the energy. So for that, I did give myself a break, went upstairs and took a quick bath with some Epsom salts, and resolved to put in a much better workout tomorrow morning, when I actually have the day off!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 2.
This morning, I was so sore, especially in the ass, that I could hardly get out of bed. I love that kind of achy feeling, the kind that tells you you're really working hard, and I'm always amazed that it could feel so strongly after only one workout.
That said, I wasn't too keen on continuing the trend today, but I dragged myself out of bed and did my MS (20 reps of almost everything... the two leg exercises in the middle had me scraping by with 15 - but I did use one-pound weights for my arms this time!), and then I did 15 minutes of cardio on my rebounder while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians (a habit I picked up after reading Mindy Kaling's Book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?). Unfortunately, I ended up watching the episode about the anniversary of the Kardashians' father's death, which wasn't too motivating. My new goal is to make it through an entire episode (22 minutes!).
Food-wise, I'm not following Tracy's plan yet, but I think I probably will as soon as I can get to a grocery store. I've been doing much better in that department in the past few weeks, eating healthily and not too much, but something about starting a new exercise program must have sent me reeling because I worked late last night and on my way home, I stopped at the grocery store and bought some total crap (cheesecake and brownie bites, oh my god). I did walk home from the grocery store, about a 20-minute walk, and I slipped and fell right on my side in the parking lot. Stupid ice, stupid winter. Anyway, I'll try to be reasonable about the desserts - oh, who am I kidding - honestly and realistically, I'll probably end up finishing the cheesecake tonight (under my usual excuse of "but at least then it'll be over and done with!") but maybe toss the brownie bites in the freezer and focus on eating healthy whole foods again. We'll see how that goes.
That said, I wasn't too keen on continuing the trend today, but I dragged myself out of bed and did my MS (20 reps of almost everything... the two leg exercises in the middle had me scraping by with 15 - but I did use one-pound weights for my arms this time!), and then I did 15 minutes of cardio on my rebounder while watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians (a habit I picked up after reading Mindy Kaling's Book, Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?). Unfortunately, I ended up watching the episode about the anniversary of the Kardashians' father's death, which wasn't too motivating. My new goal is to make it through an entire episode (22 minutes!).
Food-wise, I'm not following Tracy's plan yet, but I think I probably will as soon as I can get to a grocery store. I've been doing much better in that department in the past few weeks, eating healthily and not too much, but something about starting a new exercise program must have sent me reeling because I worked late last night and on my way home, I stopped at the grocery store and bought some total crap (cheesecake and brownie bites, oh my god). I did walk home from the grocery store, about a 20-minute walk, and I slipped and fell right on my side in the parking lot. Stupid ice, stupid winter. Anyway, I'll try to be reasonable about the desserts - oh, who am I kidding - honestly and realistically, I'll probably end up finishing the cheesecake tonight (under my usual excuse of "but at least then it'll be over and done with!") but maybe toss the brownie bites in the freezer and focus on eating healthy whole foods again. We'll see how that goes.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Metamorphosis, day 1, and an introduction.
So I finally decided to move my blog over here from Tumblr (http://hourglasspersonality.tumblr.com) , mainly because on Tumblr, I felt like I had to keep posting constantly to keep my followers, so I ended up posting and reblogging a lot of "fitspiration" pictures, which is fine, except that I wasn't focusing on my own fitness journey.
I ordered Tracy's Metamorphosis program for Christmas, but it's taken me about a month to finally get up the courage to start - and I have to admit that thinking about the next 90 days (and onward!) is a little stressful and panic-causing. But I keep reminding myself to just take it one day at a time. I'm not an athletic person AT ALL, so I don't find joy in working out (yet). I'm kind of looking at my workouts kind of like brushing my teeth - I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. That said, it did feel pretty good to work out this morning, and I'm kind of loving the ache in my arms and legs and butt (oh, how I missed you, Tracy ache).
I wanted to use this blog as a place to track my measurements and progress, and to try and hold myself accountable. So, we'll start with measurements, which I'll take every time I start a new level, so every 10 days.
Measurements, day 1:
weight: 201 lbs
bust (cup): 41"
bust (band): 32.75"
arm (L): 13"
waist (smallest part): 32"
stomach (belly button): 41"
hips: 45"
thigh (L): 23"
I feel pretty gross sharing those numbers, but I'm trying to use it as motivation to move forward! And speaking of motivation, I also wanted to share some of my goals.
My long-term fitness goal is to get down to 120-140 lbs, and a size 4-8, depending on how I look and feel when I get there. Short-term, I'm aiming to lose 10 lbs/month, but I won't beat myself up if it goes slower than that, as long as I'm doing my workouts and really pushing myself.
By the end of my first 90 days, I'd like to fit comfortably into a pair of black jeans that I have - I don't know what size they are, but I'm also trying to measure by how my clothes feel, so that will be one indication.
My birthday is at the end of August (the 24th!), and I'd really like to be at the top of my goal weight by then, so that gives me seven months to lose 60 lbs - which fits into my 10 lbs/month goal, with a little leeway.
I really want to watch myself grow stronger (especially in the arms!), not just physically but emotionally as well. I want to feel good about myself, I want to be able to take pride in taking care of myself and building a better body. I don't want to be super-skinny, just fit and toned and healthy and strong - but still curvy and with a well-defined waist - somewhere between Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry and Vanessa Ferlito in Death-Proof.
Now, with all of that said, let me finish on this note: I barely managed to scrape through the MS portion of today's workout. Arms were amazing, I could feel it almost right away (and I didn't even use weights at all today!), standing abs were amazingly HARD because I have no idea how to move my abs that way for some of the moves she does, but I'm learning - and legs, as usual, were the hardest for me. I could hardly get through them all, and I definitely didn't get 40 reps in on either side, more like 15 or 20 for some of those moves. But I won't give up, and I'll keep working my way up to 40 every day. As for cardio, I did 15 minutes on my rebounder and that ended in near-tears, haha. But I'm determined that even if I have to start small, my focus is just to keep building. As long as I don't quit, I can only go up from here.
I ordered Tracy's Metamorphosis program for Christmas, but it's taken me about a month to finally get up the courage to start - and I have to admit that thinking about the next 90 days (and onward!) is a little stressful and panic-causing. But I keep reminding myself to just take it one day at a time. I'm not an athletic person AT ALL, so I don't find joy in working out (yet). I'm kind of looking at my workouts kind of like brushing my teeth - I don't have to like it, I just have to do it. That said, it did feel pretty good to work out this morning, and I'm kind of loving the ache in my arms and legs and butt (oh, how I missed you, Tracy ache).
I wanted to use this blog as a place to track my measurements and progress, and to try and hold myself accountable. So, we'll start with measurements, which I'll take every time I start a new level, so every 10 days.
Measurements, day 1:
weight: 201 lbs
bust (cup): 41"
bust (band): 32.75"
arm (L): 13"
waist (smallest part): 32"
stomach (belly button): 41"
hips: 45"
thigh (L): 23"
I feel pretty gross sharing those numbers, but I'm trying to use it as motivation to move forward! And speaking of motivation, I also wanted to share some of my goals.
My long-term fitness goal is to get down to 120-140 lbs, and a size 4-8, depending on how I look and feel when I get there. Short-term, I'm aiming to lose 10 lbs/month, but I won't beat myself up if it goes slower than that, as long as I'm doing my workouts and really pushing myself.
By the end of my first 90 days, I'd like to fit comfortably into a pair of black jeans that I have - I don't know what size they are, but I'm also trying to measure by how my clothes feel, so that will be one indication.
My birthday is at the end of August (the 24th!), and I'd really like to be at the top of my goal weight by then, so that gives me seven months to lose 60 lbs - which fits into my 10 lbs/month goal, with a little leeway.
I really want to watch myself grow stronger (especially in the arms!), not just physically but emotionally as well. I want to feel good about myself, I want to be able to take pride in taking care of myself and building a better body. I don't want to be super-skinny, just fit and toned and healthy and strong - but still curvy and with a well-defined waist - somewhere between Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry and Vanessa Ferlito in Death-Proof.
Now, with all of that said, let me finish on this note: I barely managed to scrape through the MS portion of today's workout. Arms were amazing, I could feel it almost right away (and I didn't even use weights at all today!), standing abs were amazingly HARD because I have no idea how to move my abs that way for some of the moves she does, but I'm learning - and legs, as usual, were the hardest for me. I could hardly get through them all, and I definitely didn't get 40 reps in on either side, more like 15 or 20 for some of those moves. But I won't give up, and I'll keep working my way up to 40 every day. As for cardio, I did 15 minutes on my rebounder and that ended in near-tears, haha. But I'm determined that even if I have to start small, my focus is just to keep building. As long as I don't quit, I can only go up from here.
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